Introduction
Indecisiveness can be a frustrating and debilitating state of mind. Whether we’re trying to choose a career path, make a major purchase, or even decide what to eat for dinner, the fear of making the wrong choice can leave us feeling paralyzed. As someone who has struggled with indecisiveness throughout my life, I understand the struggle all too well. In this article, I want to explore some of the common causes of indecisiveness and offer up practical solutions for overcoming it. Whether you’re a chronic overthinker or just looking to improve your decision-making skills, I hope you’ll find the information helpful.
Common Causes of Indecisiveness
There are many factors that can contribute to indecisiveness, but three of the most common are fear of failure, lack of confidence, and the desire to please others.
Fear of failure can be a powerful motivator that keeps us stuck in a state of indecision. When we’re afraid of making the wrong choice, we may spend hours or even days analyzing every possible outcome. While it’s important to consider the potential consequences of our decisions, the fear of failure can make it difficult to move forward.
Lack of confidence can also contribute to indecisiveness. When we don’t trust our own judgment, it can be hard to make decisions with conviction. We may second-guess ourselves or rely too heavily on the opinions of others, rather than trusting our own instincts.
The desire to please others is another common cause of indecisiveness. When we’re more focused on what others think than on our own needs and desires, it can be hard to make choices that feel authentic or aligned with our values.
Decision-Making Techniques
Thankfully, there are many techniques we can use to overcome indecisiveness and make more confident decisions. Here are a few different approaches to consider:
Making pros and cons lists
One simple and effective way to make decisions is to create a pros and cons list. This involves listing out all the benefits and drawbacks of each potential choice. Seeing the pros and cons of each option can help us better understand which choice aligns more with our goals and values. However, it’s important to remember that some factors may be difficult to quantify or compare, so this approach may not always be foolproof.
Practicing mindfulness
Mindfulness, the practice of staying present and aware in the moment, can also be helpful for making decisions. When we’re mindful, we’re able to notice our thoughts and emotions without getting swept up in them. This can help us identify any underlying fears or desires that may be contributing to our indecisiveness. By becoming more self-aware, we can make decisions that are more aligned with our true selves.
Reframing a problem
Another approach to decision-making is to reframe the problem. Sometimes, when we feel stuck between two choices, it’s because we’re framing the problem in a binary way. For example, we might feel like we have to choose between a high-paying job that we hate and a low-paying job that we love. But if we reframe the problem to be more open-ended, we might start to see other options that we hadn’t considered before. Maybe we could find a job that pays well and allows us to pursue our passions on the side, for example.
Expert Opinions
While these techniques can be helpful, it can be valuable to get expert opinions as well. I spoke with Dr. Rachel Goldman, a licensed psychologist and clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine, to get her thoughts on indecisiveness.
“Indecisiveness can stem from a variety of factors, such as a lack of confidence in decision-making abilities, fear of the consequences of making the ‘wrong’ decision, and difficulty prioritizing what is most important to us,” Dr. Goldman explains. “Strategies such as visualization and guided imagery, mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques, and cognitive-behavioral therapy can be effective in increasing assertiveness, confidence, and decision-making abilities.”
Success Stories
Of course, the best way to understand how to overcome indecisiveness is to hear from those who have successfully done it. One example is Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon. In a 2018 interview with Axel Springer CEO Mathias Doepfner, Bezos explained why he makes decisions quickly:
“Most decisions should probably be made with somewhere around 70% of the information you wish you had. If you wait for 90%, in most cases, you’re probably being slow. And if you wait for 100%, you’re almost certainly being too slow. Being too slow is probably worse than being wrong.”
Another example comes from Amy Poehler, the comedian and actress who wrote about overcoming indecisiveness in her memoir “Yes Please.” In the book, Poehler describes how she learned to make decisions by acknowledging that there is no “right” answer:
“The great thing about taking big chances when you’re younger is you have less to lose, and you don’t know as much. I’d say it’s also when you’re least afraid to make mistakes because you’re like, ‘I just got here, I’m new, I don’t know what I’m doing. A big chunk of my twenties was trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do, and failing spectacularly.'”
Actionable Tips
So, what can we take away from all of this? Here are a few actionable tips to help you overcome indecisiveness:
Set a deadline
Give yourself a deadline for making a decision, and stick to it. This will help prevent you from getting stuck in a cycle of overthinking and analysis paralysis.
Develop a personalized decision-making framework
Think about what factors are most important to you when making decisions, such as your values, goals, and priorities. Develop a framework that takes these factors into account, so that you have a clear process for making decisions that feels authentic to you.
Tune in to your emotions
Pay attention to how you’re feeling when you’re faced with a decision. Are you anxious? Excited? Overwhelmed? Tuning in to your emotions can help you better understand what’s driving your indecisiveness.
Conclusion
Indecisiveness is a common struggle, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent one. By understanding the common causes of indecisiveness, trying out different decision-making techniques, seeking expert opinions, and learning from success stories, we can identify the solutions that work best for us as individuals. By taking action and making decisions with confidence, we can move closer to creating the lives we truly want to lead.